Linggo, Hunyo 21, 2020

Winter Wonderland

Continued



It has been seven weeks since the quarantine began, the apartment felt like a prison, and i am a prisoner trapped in its caving walls. My imagination brought me to a world i have never been but have read about, somewhere in South Vietnam, captured by the guerrillas in a raid. I am political prisoner, a communist coerced to write a confession, but instead i decided to write about life. Now back to reality. 


Driven by strong winds, tumbleweeds bounced freely and uncontrollably in every nondescript American West towns i passed by, which to me was a pretty fascinating sight to see, as fascinating as the equestrian road signs i never knew existed which warned possible wild horse sightings somewhere in the arid New Mexico. I find pretty much everything interesting. I have learned that Nevada having no state or local lodging tax has the cheapest hotel accommodation, while Texas where most oil in America is refined and sourced, has the cheapest priced gas, a republican state pride, so they say. I have read somewhere that while other states are in recession, Texans are simply unbothered and are out burning gas, thats how strong their gas-fueled economy is. I tried to make as many side trips as i can as if i was in no rush to finally get settled in New York and by that i mean to accomplish a never ending to-do list that included apartment lease agreement, Ikea furniture assembly, new driver’s license, new primary physician, new professional license, new job and the list goes on. The seven day solitary journey felt so short, i wanted to do more, i wanted to see more, i got used to being alone, I guess i do like being alone. 



I have dreamed of converting my Jetta into a camper sedan with a small space dedicated for a one-person sleeping area in the rear compartment where I managed to squeeze a four inch tri-fold memory foam mattress and a cyan Teton sleeping bag that i never really used since i ended up spending the night mostly at cheap motels or crashing at a friend’s place. Overnight, heavy snow hammered the Oregon mountains in the south which gave me driving anxiety. I will surely miss the panderosa winter wonderland, the smell of the pine forest, the junipers and the red woods. The lush green woodland landscape on higher elevations gradually turned into golden valleys on flat lowlands contrasting the rugged hills and the gentle mountains, and eventually became Reno wetlands threatened to be destroyed by citywide developments. The hotel prices in Reno were jaw dropping cheapand staying in for the night in one of its pretentious and kinda-luxurious hotels, was not a bad idea after all. 



To be continued...




Linggo, Hunyo 14, 2020

3000 Mile Journey

I heard angry thundering from the distance kilometers away. The weather seemed to be in sync with my fury, my sadness and my fear. In a few moments, tiny droplets of rain fell on the dry soil propagating intense petrichor in a gradual fashion and for the first time i hated the smell of the rain. I have thought about  paper-boats sailing on scattered water after the sky stops crying, I have thought about gasoline spilled on the ground displaying rainbow colors in the light, i have thought about the calming rhythmic drumbeating sound of the rain on tin roof lulling me to sleep. Too fast, that is how the weather changes on this side of the earth, every waking moment seem to just pass by in a magical blur. Most days were unremarkable, forgettable and irrelevant, and there were days so significant that they will haunt you forever. 


———————


Sitting in my favorite solid oak dining chair sipping my morning coffee, strictly strong and always black, feeling nostalgic, i recounted the coast-to-coast journey i made early this year. The atmosphere outside my New York City apartment contains humid summery air blowing in and out of the half opened windows,  non ambient sound levels coming from the neighbor’s air conditioning units and the busy expressways, and free floating corona-viruses which killed hundreds and thousands of Americans. Its  crazy how overnight the lights on broadway go out and the subway closed for the first time. No more spectacular shows, no more fine dining under the stars and no more midnight trains. In a matter of weeks, the greatest city shut down, which has forced people to quarantine at home, to hunker down, to think about life and to stay connected, as the stealth virus mercilessly and indiscriminately kills the vulnerable. 



Life in New York is exciting, for me, a good enough reason to convince myself to move here, and so i took the courage to drive seven days straight from the sunny West Coast to the bitter cold East Coast, a 3000-mile journey of a lifetime. I have endured all kinds of weather along the way. January, i tell you, is not the best time of the year to travel, or more so to do road trips. I took the liberty to explore a bit to keep myself entertained as i traversed the famous Route 66. It has been five months since i moved here and i feel like I haven’t done much exploring yet, the pandemic has put everything into a halt.



To be continued...

Linggo, Hunyo 7, 2020

Bad Persons

As a child, i was carefree and adventurous. I grew up in a small town, by the purple shores in the south of Panay Island in the Philippines.  Once upon a time in history, the ecoregion was almost completely forested and harbored some of the highest levels of endemism, but when greed prevailed, it lost all of its grandeur, and many of its species no match against human-lit inferno, went extinct and vanished for eternity. It was said that nowhere in the country was environmental degradation quite so acute, but despite the obvious chronicity of the issue, it never was pressing enough for anybody to really give a damn. Nothing is perennial, nor evergreen, i guess.

The island was my playground. After a whole day of escapade, my hair would smell sour and pungent as a palm wine and salty as the tropical wet air. There were afternoons that i have spent alone, digging schists and ultramafics from the muddy sundaic earth with my barehands, and there were nights i have spent by the shore with older friends, firing carbon-carbide fueled bamboo cannons. The next day they were my worst enemies, the empty beach was our battlefield, and at each other we threw moist clumps of sand, until we were friends again. As an adult, i have become more adventurous.

The summer of ninety six, was especially uncomfortable, the combination of ridiculously warm temperature and absolutely high humidity was a recipe for heat strokes, a sauna-like atmospheric condition foreigners from the west passionately despise. Despite the constant reminder from my mother to not play beyond the confines of our residence, with a head as hard as Moh’s indestructible minerals, i ventured into the outside world in the swelling heat of the sun, without a care in the world. I have preplanned to ride the trisikad, a small rickshaw that can only transport a child as heavy as half a sack of rice, not used for business but only for leisure. The brand new toy had three no-flat tires, a solid non padded saddle that were the most uncomfortable to sit on, the kind that will make the skin over your ischial tuberosities turn red and sore the next day, handlebars that were too loose, and a metal crossbar with bright neon green letter stickers that read Toto, thus it wasn’t really my belonging. The thought of spinning freely down the road in the sunshine made me feel joyous, why riding a bike, or in my case, a tricycle, was so much fun, i did not know. 

The faster i pedaled, the faster my heart beat and the happier i was, a perfect example of an exhilarating moment in a child’s life that triggers a cascade of hormonal responses starting in the human brain, stimulating the glands found directly above the bean shaped kidneys to release adrenaline into the systemic circulation. Adrenaline rush, something that makes you breathe faster, something that makes your heart race, something a child would not easily understand or would even care about , and something some young adults unknowingly seek constantly. I moved unbelievably fast and was in total control, like a blind fruit bat with a surprisingly perfect sense of direction. 

The full-force humidity reminded me of the heavenly comfort of the cool bamboo flooring of our tiny home, a box shaped architecture that has stood the test of times, its confused aesthetic of patched up metal sheets was an unpleasant sight to behold, its crudely stacked hallow cement blocks and solid mahogany posts provided a somewhat strong foundation to withstand extreme weather inclemencies, super-typhoons, strong earthquakes, floods or landslides. Red bougainvilleas tower over the bamboo fences, with unforgiving thorns serving the same purpose as the spiked iron gates of the rich, and anything trapped in their complicated network of wood vines, hats, slippers or a beach ball, were irretrievable. Across the house was a two story Spanish ancestral home owned by an affluent family of full bloodied Filipino parents with skins as dark as cocoa bars, and whose unfriendly sons and daughters went to a private school next town, ran by strict nuns who never let the female students wear skirts above their knees. Next to our humble abode was a  sari-sari store,  where you could buy a portion of any known household products there was. Bing, the stay-in lady store keeper regularly displayed an even row of glass jars filled with assorted candies in silver and golden wrappers, my favorite were the caramel candies, fifty centavos a piece. Sachets of shampoos and conditioners hanged like draperies on the wall, cooking oils in large see-through plastic bottles sold by milliliters funneled into small transparent plastic bags, five-day old bread rolls a peso each, refrigerated coco-cola in glass bottles, and unhealthy monosodium-rich flavored snacks in aluminum bags, were just some of the overpriced goods sold. Out of probably five sari-sari stores sprawled in our street, Bing’s was the most appealing, but had products that were usually ten or fifty cents more in the price tags. Bing’s head magically appeared through a small opening in her store's chicken wire meshed window, and instantly threw at me a dagger look as i slow down and sped up the trisikad. She was in her late forties, she had a long black, straight hair unusual for her age, brown eyes, a light coffee complexion and thick lips wearing thicker red Avon lipsticks. At the top of her lungs, she yelled, slow down you crazy child or you’ll be sorry! I went faster.

The JICA Hall next to Bing’s sari-sari store , was crowded. The concrete government super structure served as a hub for local authorities such as the head of the barrio and his subordinates. It is one of the many facilities built nationwide by Japan, the country’s major strategic development partner for several decades after World War II. Japan built town halls, hospital,  class rooms and many other structures all over - a seemingly perfect way to attempt to heal and erase the history of the heinous wartime crimes they have committed. Filipinos will never forget, for the war veterans and many others, these are just emblems that rekindles the past that tells a thousand stories of atrocities by the blood-lustful Japanese soldiers against our countrymen,  whom they victimized, raped and murdered. On other occasions, it housed a dozen of prepubescent children, there for the towns medical circumcision drive, a cost-free salvation for the shame of undergoing the same ritual at an older age. Older town folks claimed it was both a religious and a cultural practice to recognize manhood in the community, while my parents said it was a health-promoting practice. Visibly shocked newly circumcised children, hobbled in various directions like drunk zombies,  walked the walk of shame,  most of them wearing skirts, their gait awkwardly wide based, none of them were proud and none of them were happy. 

Having deliberately defied Bing’s early warning, I continued pedaling towards the mob of local rickshaw drivers gathered right in front of the hall, i stopped and eavesdropped a little. They were complaining about something which i did not really care about, the head of the barrio said there was nothing that he could do. Mr. Den, a slender six footer man with a fair skin complexion was standing next to his 1996 white Toyota Corolla, on its rooftop was a sign that says TAXI. He was the same age as my parents and has a daughter who was a table tennis athlete, her name was all over the school’s publication after finishing third in the division level championship, which meant she battled against all other five districts in our province.  Why recognition was important, i did not know. In addition, in celebration of her success, she was honored with one of those massive congratulatory tarpaulins being mounted high on the walls of the school for the public to see, similar to those garbage ads, oversized, misplaced and mounted literally wherever possible, the higher the better, obscuring every possible view, bearing names of candidates running for office, a political campaign strategy worth millions of pesos then considered legal, how, i did not know. 

I went on with my business, pedaled the hardest towards the parked car, i squeezed the loose handlebars tightly, and pretending it was a motorcycle’s throttle I extended and flexed my wrists repeatedly. In a matter of seconds a rush of adrenaline flooded my system,  I was once again moving unbelievably fast, i was in extreme euphoria. The toy glided smoothly and effortlessly along the cobblestone driveway. The rest of the moments were kind of a blur, it all happened so fast, i immediately lost control of the steering and violently crashed the new toy into the flashy white sedan, leaving an obvious scratch on the driver side’s lower door. The permanent mark was as long as my arm-span, an unholy sight that was too much for Sir Den’s seemingly scant patience.

The mob circled around the scene. Bing squeezed through the crowd screaming at me I told you so. I picked my self up, and wholeheartedly apologized to Mr Den. Mr Den grabbed me by the collar , pinched a portion of my left sideburns and quickly pulled it upwards. I was screaming inside, but i never really cried. I was obviously shocked. Curious spectators grew in number , they did not really do anything other than watch the situation unfold before their eyes. It was a moment of fear for me. In an instant it felt like it was me against the world, it was me against Bing, it was me against Mr Den, who i learned that very moment was a cop. Go home he said, or i will hand cuff you and put you in jail. I picked up the toy, pedaled for my life out of the scene and never spoke about it for forever.



Sabado, Mayo 30, 2020

Pandemic Diaries ( Continued )

continued...



The JICA Hall next to Bing’s sari-sari store , was crowded. The concrete government super structure served as a hub for local authorities such as the head of the barrio and his subordinates. It is one of the many facilities built nationwide by Japan, the country’s major strategic development partner for several decades after World War II. Japan built town halls, hospital,  class rooms and many other structures all over - a seemingly perfect way to attempt to heal and erase the history of the heinous wartime crimes they have committed. Filipinos will never forget, for the war veterans and many others, these are just emblems that rekindles the past that tells a thousand stories of atrocities by the blood-lustful Japanese soldiers against our countrymen,  whom they victimized, raped and murdered. On other occasions, it housed a dozen of prepubescent children, there for the towns medical circumcision drive, a cost-free salvation for the shame of undergoing the same ritual at an older age. Older town folks claimed it was both a religious and a cultural practice to recognize manhood in the community, while my parents said it was a health-promoting practice. Visibly shocked newly circumcised children, hobbled in various directions like drunk zombies,  walked the walk of shame,  most of them wearing skirts, their gait awkwardly wide based, none of them were proud and none of them were happy. 


Having deliberately defied Bing’s early warning, I continued pedaling towards the mob of local rickshaw drivers gathered right in front of the hall, i stopped and eavesdropped a little. They were complaining about something which i did not really care about, the head of the barrio said there was nothing that he could do. Sir Den, a slender six footer man with a fair skin complexion was standing next to his 1996 white Toyota Corolla, on its rooftop was a sign that says TAXI. He was the same age as my parents and has a daughter who was a table tennis athlete, her name was all over the school’s publication after finishing third in the division level championship, which meant she battled against all other five districts in our province.  Why recognition was important, i did not know. In addition, in celebration of her success, she was honored with one of those massive congratulatory tarpaulins being mounted high on the walls of the school for the public to see, similar to those garbage ads, oversized, misplaced and mounted literally wherever possible, the higher the better, obscuring every possible view, bearing names of candidates running for office, a politcal campain strategy worth millions of pesos then considered legal, how, i did not know. 




To be continued....


Sabado, Mayo 23, 2020

Summer of '96 ( I Wrote Something During the Pandemic )


...continued



The summer of ninety six, was especially uncomfortable, the combination of ridiculously warm temperature and absolutely high humidity was a recipe for heat strokes, a sauna-like atmospheric condition foreigners from the west passionately despise. Despite the constant reminder from my mother to not play beyond the confines of our residence, with a head as hard as Moh’s indestructible minerals, i ventured into the outside world in the swelling heat of the sun, without a care in the world. I have preplanned to ride the trisikad, a small rickshaw that can only transport a child as heavy as half a sack of rice, not used for business but only for leisure. The brand new toy had three no-flat tires, a solid non padded saddle that were the most uncomfortable to sit on, the kind that will make the skin over your ischial tuberosities turn red and sore the next day, handlebars that were too loose, and a metal crossbar with bright neon green letter stickers that read Toto, thus it wasn’t really my belonging. The thought of spinning freely down the road in the sunshine made me feel joyous, why riding a bike, or in my case, a tricycle, was so much fun, i did not know. 



The faster i pedaled, the faster my heart beat and the happier i was, a perfect example of an exhilarating moment in a child’s life that triggers a cascade of hormonal responses starting in the human brain, stimulating the glands found directly above the bean shaped kidneys to release adrenaline into the systemic circulation. Adrenaline rush, something that makes you breathe faster, something that makes your heart race, something a child would not easily understand or would even care about , and something some young adults unknowingly seek constantly. I moved unbelievably fast and was in total control, like a blind fruit bat with a surprisingly perfect sense of direction. 


The full-force humidity reminded me of the heavenly comfort of the cool bamboo flooring of our tiny home, a box shaped architecture that has stood the test of times, its confused aesthetic of patched up metal sheets was an unpleasant sight to behold, its crudely stacked hallow cement blocks and solid mahogany posts provided a somewhat strong foundation to withstand extreme weather inclemencies, super-typhoons, strong earthquakes, floods or landslides. Red bougainvilleas tower over the bamboo fences, with unforgiving thorns serving the same purpose as the spiked iron gates of the rich, and anything trapped in their complicated network of wood vines, hats, slippers or a beach ball, were irretrievable. Across the house was a two story Spanish ancestral home owned by an affluent family of full bloodied Filipino parents with skins as dark as cocoa bars, and whose unfriendly sons and daughters went to a private school next town, ran by strict nuns who never let the female students wear skirts above their knees. Next to our humble abode was a  sari-sari store,  where you could buy a portion of any known household products there was. Bing, the stay-in lady store keeper regularly displayed an even row of glass jars filled with assorted candies in silver and golden wrappers, my favorite were the caramel candies, fifty centavos a piece. Sachets of shampoos and conditioners hanged like draperies on the wall, cooking oils in large see-through plastic bottles sold by milliliters funneled into small transparent plastic bags, five-day old bread rolls a peso each, refrigerated coco-cola in glass bottles, and unhealthy monosodium-rich flavored snacks in aluminum bags, were just some of the overpriced goods sold. Out of probably five sari-sari stores sprawled in our street, Bing’s was the most appealing, but had products that were usually ten or fifty cents more in the price tags. Bing’s head magically appeared through a small opening in her store's chicken wire meshed window, and instantly threw at me a dagger look as i slow down and sped up the trisikad. She was in her late forties, she had a long black, straight hair unusual for her age, brown eyes, a light coffee complexion and thick lips wearing thicker red Avon lipsticks. At the top of her lungs, she yelled, slow down you crazy child or you’ll be sorry! I went faster.




To be continued...


Miyerkules, Mayo 20, 2020

A little something from what I wrote this Pandemic Season

Who Else Grew Up in the Island?



The Philippines
The Philippines




As a child, i was carefree and adventurous. I grew up in a small town, by the purple shores in the south of Panay Island in the Philippines.  Once upon a time in history, the ecoregion was almost completely forested and harbored some of the highest levels of endemism, but when greed prevailed, it lost all of its grandeur, and many of its species no match against human-lit inferno, went extinct and vanished for eternity. It was said that nowhere in the country was environmental degradation quite so acute, but despite the obvious chronicity of the issue, it never was pressing enough for anybody to really give a damn. Nothing is perennial, nor evergreen, i guess.

The island was my playground. After a whole day of escapade, my hair would smell sour and pungent as a palm wine and salty as the tropical wet air. There were afternoons that i have spent alone, digging schists and ultramafics from the muddy sundaic earth with my barehands, and there were nights i have spent by the shore with older friends, firing carbon-carbide fueled bamboo cannons. The next day they were my worst enemies, the empty beach was our battlefield, and at each other we threw moist clumps of sand, until we were friends again. As an adult, i am careful rather than carefree and has become more adventurous.


To be continued....

Martes, Mayo 19, 2020

How I Am Barely Surviving Financially in this Corona Virus Pandemic Season.

Who else gets frustrated over insufficient funds notice in your bank accounts? Who else gets overdraft strikes again and again? In this trying times, I am still in the waiting game phase for my unemployment claim while my house rent, my health insurance, my auto loan, and my other debts can’t wait! The pandemic season feels like forever! In New York City,  where I currently live, the pause has been extended to May 28, and this means an extended stay at home orders for many people who unfortunately could not stay jobless much longer.

Layoffs, furloughs, dismissals, there are plenty of reasons why many are ruined financially making it hard to get by day by day in this unprecedented times. My case is quite unique. Two months ago, before Miss Corona came to plague the world, I drove seven days from the West Coast to the East Coast. I have decided with a heavy heart to leave my Oregonian life, and pursue my dreams in New York City. Moving from coast to coast is expensive, periodt! It has drained my entire savings from my previous job as a home health physical therapist. I am basically back to zero and the truth is, I did not know how to pay the bills! 

My auto loan amounts to five hundred and thirty dollars per month. Lucky enough, my gracious bank, the Northwest Community, has approved a payment extension for three months. I have learned that many banks offer skip-a-pay, and calling them to see if you are eligible is definitely worth it!  I am satisfied with Goldman and Sachs, for holding my Apple Card’s April payment, interest-free. Wells Fargo has been kind enough to offer financial assistance, asking you to Get-Help-Now if you need relief assistance due to COVID-19. I was granted payment suspension for a month. The same goes to my Best Buy Credit Card and Gap Credit Card. Credit card payment extensions will not not have a direct effect on credit scores, as per Experian.com, and everyone should contact their card issuer directly for possible deferment of payments!


Easing restrictions has allowed some essential jobs to re-open , but not my outpatient physical therapy job.  I ventured into the unknown world of part-time jobs, day-jobs, side-hustles and found success on Instacart. I happily shopped and delivered for people, a job that pays me about a hundred dollars per day. How it works? As a shopper, you begin accepting batches using your Instacart shopper app, then head to the grocery store, shop, deliver and get paid based on the value of batches you completed. In my case four or five batches worth thirty-plus dollars each per day are manageable enough. This is a decent part time job that can help pay the bill! Similar job includes Amazon Shopper and Shipt. 


It sure is a tough time for everyone! I am hoping everyone gets food in their tables. I hope everyone stays healthy and social distance the right way. I hope we will all get through this pretty soon and be back to doing our normal day jobs. So far, the pandemic has taught us that washing hands actually works, that the government’s corona virus response is tragic, that we are social creatures to the highest level, and that saving money is important-er!